Friday, 26 August 2016
PENCE RECAPTURED AFTER FLEEING TRUMP CAMPAIGN BUS
PENCE RECAPTURED AFTER FLEEING TRUMP CAMPAIGN BUS
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| PHOTOGRAPH BY JONATHAN ERNST / REUTERS |
VIRGINIA (The Borowitz Report)—Calling
it a “scary moment” and a “close call,” Donald Trump’s campaign officials
confirmed that they had recaptured Mike Pence after the Indiana governor
attempted to flee the campaign bus in the early hours of Friday morning.
According to the campaign,
Pence had asked to stop at a McDonald’s in rural Virginia so that he could use
the bathroom, but aides grew concerned when the governor failed to reappear
after twenty minutes.
After determining that Pence
had given them the slip, Trump staffers fanned out across the Virginia
backcountry, where the governor was believed to have fled.
News that Pence had vanished
touched off a panic in Indiana, where residents feared that he might return to
resume his political career.
After forty-five minutes of
searching, however, campaign officials located a bedraggled and dazed Pence
walking along Virginia State Route 287, where the Republican Vice-Presidential
nominee was attempting unsuccessfully to hitch a ride.
A confrontation that Trump
aides characterized as “tense” ensued, after which a sobbing Pence returned to
the bus.
In the aftermath of Pence’s
disappearance, Hope Hicks, Trump’s press secretary, attempted to downplay the
severity of the incident. “This is the kind of thing that happens in the course
of a long and demanding campaign,” she said. “Having said that, we’re grateful
to have Mike Pence back with us, and we won’t let him get away again.”
Reportedly, New Jersey Governor
Chris Christie offered to fill in for Pence in the event that he became unable
to fulfill his duties. That offer was declined.
Credit:http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/pence-recaptured-after-fleeing-trump-campaign-bus
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